Bells Tolling in the Midst

Coping with Modern Stresses

Modern Stresses Whatever the Age.

Have you had one of those days where you don’t quite know whether to laugh or cry? That was my today. Recently, I’ve been immersing myself in books on handling modern stress, but life has a way of presenting scenarios that aren’t covered in those manuals. For instance, none of them mention what to do when, during a quiet lunch with a friend, your endearing but frail elderly relative, equipped with a bell for 'emergencies only', suddenly acts like the chief bell ringer for Notre-Dame Cathedral. Most of these urgent interruptions were supposedly requests to help them to the bathroom, but in reality? A covert warning about my unsuspecting guest's alleged intention to make off with the family heirlooms. Dementia has a lot to answer for, but hey, just a typical Wednesday, right?

Later in the day, I was recounting this unexpected, but moderately amusing episode to Sam. His immediate response? ‘So, how did you alleviate the stress?’ Sheepishly, I admitted that I hadn't managed it well. Instead, I had spent the next few hours on tenterhooks, anticipating the next unpredictable event. Every little sound from the elderly inhabitant of the recliner chair made me jump, and I found myself spending far too much of my guest’s visit reassuring my mum that he wasn’t an undercover spy or a thief in disguise. My guest said he didn’t mind, but the proof will be whether he comes back again!

Curious, I flipped the question back to Sam: ‘What would you have done in the same situation?’ I asked.

He grinned, ‘I'd probably have recorded the bell ringing on my phone, post it online, and caption it – "When Notre-Dame visits home!". The likes and comments would've been my stress relief,’ he joked. I laughed in response, but this conversation sparked deeper reflections – never in a million years would I have thought to use social media as a stress relief tool (though I guess that’s what I’m kind of doing now in this article). It made Sam and I ponder the nuances of what we both identified as 'modern stresses' and, more intriguingly, how our strategies to navigate them might differ vastly.

1. Digital Overload: Sam had made a playful comment about social media, and it got me reflecting. Both of us, despite our age difference, grapple with the relentless tide of notifications, emails, and social media buzz. Surprisingly, I felt more pressure to stay updated, while Sam seemed content in his obliviousness to platforms like TikTok. However, it was he who enlightened me about app limiters. I've come to realize that I need to curb my inadvertent subscription habits. Could this click-happy behavior be linked to my generation's unfamiliarity with IT nuances? While Sam seamlessly navigates his digital world for work notifications and social events, I mainly venture online attempting to resonate with the younger lot, ending up with a trail of misunderstood emojis and waiting for their replies.
2. Balancing Personal and Professional Lives: This is an arena where our experiences converge. While Sam is swamped with career ambitions, maintaining friendships, and financial planning for further studies, my current challenge revolves around caregiving. Once adept at juggling professional responsibilities, my role as my mother's primary caregiver has shifted my priorities. Despite the independence of my grown daughters, the demanding nature of caregiving has curtailed my social life. Brief absences from my mother's side induce stress and anxiety in both of us. This shift from professional role to caregiving has made me realise the shared challenges individuals face across different stages of life.
3. Maintaining Physical Health and Well-being: Both Sam and I understand the paramount importance of active living. However, I confess that squeezing in regular exercise often takes a back seat for me, while Sam has carved out a consistent routine. The candid conversation revealed Sam's concerns about physical well-being too. He mentioned his weakness for late-night snacking while working, which led me to discuss the importance of good sleep for overall health.
4. Navigating Rapid Changes: While I strive to keep abreast of evolving trends, Sam highlighted the anticipated shifts in his career due to advancements like AI. The prospect of being replaced by machines unsettled him. Though I bank on my children to guide me through tech advancements, my current slower pace allows moments of mindfulness, journaling, and drawing support from support groups. When asked if he'd consider professional support, the cost of therapy, especially in his current base in Kenya, was a deterrent.
5. Financial Stress: Isn't it said that money-related happiness from windfalls like winning the lottery is fleeting? It appears financial anxieties persist across generations. While I'm at a point in life with fewer immediate monetary concerns than Sam, retirement planning weighs on my mind. I resisted lecturing Sam about compound interest and the merits of budgeting, but it's evident: whether it's Sam grappling with modern living costs or my contemplation of retirement and unexpected expenses, financial concerns remain a universal challenge.

It seems then that life's challenges don't discriminate by age. As Sam and I delved into our modern stresses, we each found our own anchors. For Sam, it's leveraging technology wisely and not letting it dominate his time. For me, it's the value of mindfulness and seeking support when needed. Our latest chat reminded us that while our approaches might differ, the journey of navigating life's stresses is universal. I asked Sam for his take-away piece of advice. This is what he said: "The key lies in learning, adapting, and finding joy along the way." Thanks, Sam.